love-me-hate-me

[Full Title: A Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell Like Teen Spirit And Napalm In The Morning] We are the Hallmark generation. What we say to each other, what we feel for each other; it's either shop bought or stolen, manufactured or plagiarised. We hold a ruler up to our loves, set them on scales instead of pedestals, and exhibit them like dead butterflies pinned down in glass cases. All these clichés and tired similes tumble out of mouths and pages till there's little hope left for originality. Don't you know that we're all stuck somewhere between growing up and getting old; This is your life, and it's ending one minute

You were not the most handsome cigarette I'd ever begged or the most interesting lighter I'd ever borrowed. You didn't offer to buy me a smile and flash me a butterfly, so my aching stomach skipped two beats. I don't think you were talking blushing words on fumbling cheeks all night, our first sight didn't stop time across a crowded room; eyes meeting like we "just knew" that it was "meant to be". I don't think our paths aligned or that the stars collided. If I'm honest, I don't quite remember hands walking or holding long kiss-less goodnights twice the way home to my door. But I meet our hoping with coincidences

My dads cigars because it smells like home and safety and those nights when I'd come in drunk and he'd pretend he didn't notice and we'd actually talk - about stamps and football and our family tree and I'd pretend I was interested because I love talking to him, and we don't do it enough. Petrol because it reminds me of trips and holidays and adventures and journeys and the people I took them with. My Nanny because I'm suddenly 8 years old bringing her breakfast in bed. And she acted surprised and told me what a clever girl I was even though I did it every Saturday morning for years and I always over boiled her eggs and cu

My first job was a paper round and one sunday morning at 7 am my whole route was snuggled under a blanket of snow. Everywhere was silent and everyone was still in bed - except one woman with deep red hair and a floor length black coat walking down the middle of a pure white road. when I was 15 I got my first pair of glasses. 2 nights later I watched shooting stars with my dad in the garden and it was like seeing the sky for the first time and I felt like I didn't need to make any wishes. I remember hitting rock bottom - sat shoeless on a blue plastic mattress in a grey concrete room with no windows - and I remember think